I recently interviewed Eka A. because I have long been impressed by her confidence, spunk, and collection of gorgeous gowns. (Let’s be honest here!)

Hailing from Pennsylvania where she spent years wowing pageant judges, she now makes her home in Washington, D.C., were she studies — and soon will practice — law. In her spare time, she is involved in theater, pageants, and about a hundred other things.

In this article, she tells us a little about how to be on stage and be yourself at the same time.

I understand that you have competed in the Miss Pennsylvania pageant (among others).  Why did you decide to become involved in pageants? What has it taught you?

I don’t know what inspired me to start competing. I just took a look at it one day and thought, “I could do that.” Turns out, I was good at it, and it opened up this whole new opportunity for me to be an example for young women, especially young women of color.  Once I won my title, I had this platform from which people would really listen to me and I could show people that just because you were young, black, and beautiful didn’t mean you couldn’t be smart and successful too.

Being in the spotlight like that teaches you a lot about yourself too. It taught me to be proud of who I am, embrace my differences, and never try to be something I’m not.

Have you seen other girls or have you struggled with “pageant” pressure to fit in, to conform, be a certain weight — or look a certain way?

In the competition, you do need to walk the runway in a bikini. So yes, we all secretly wish to have that tiny model body and we all obsess about every part of our body because we are literally being judged on it.

Some girls lose themselves in this obsession and end up doing really unhealthy things to their bodies. But I actually took all that obsession and turned it into something good. I worked out a lot, I ate a healthy, balanced diet, and I focused on the parts of my body I could make better and learned to love the parts of my body that weren’t going to go anywhere — I am very proud of my big booty. I ended up being in the best shape of my life and happier for it (although I really, really missed hamburgers).

Are pageant judges looking for the next blond waif — forgive my language — or do they see “pageant queen” as something more complex than that?

I think judges see the “pageant queen” as that perfect package I was talking about: She’s beauty and brains, elegant but approachable, extraordinary and yet down-to-earth. It’s your job when you’re competing to convince the judge that that girl is you.

I think it’s harder for a girl that doesn’t have that blond all-American look to sell that to the judges, but I would always rather lose as myself than win as someone else. I’m not saying I never wore my hair a certain way, or wore a certain dress just because I thought the judges would like it. But what I did realize is a pageant queen must first and foremost be proud of herself. There’s a confidence and strength that true pageant queens have that no one can take away, especially not some judges with score cards.

The fashion industry is notorious for promoting, featuring, and making clothes for skinny, white girls? Have you seen the same thing in your competitions? If yes, how do you want to see both the fashion industry and the competition circuit change?

Dress shopping isn’t so bad for me, although it is a little weird to have some lady is telling you to “lose a little hip.” I explained to her that those were my bones and so maybe she should get me a different dress instead.

But the great thing about the pageant system I competed in was that there were girls of all shapes and sizes that could do really well. You have to find the dress that spoke to you, that matched your personality,that really made you shine. It’s really cool that fashion can do that. I think the fashion industry should place more stress on people dressing to fit their personalities and not just to fit in with current trends.

Your father is from Nigeria, and you’ve been able to spend some time there. Has this taught you anything about American attitudes toward consumption?

Visiting Nigeria definitely changes the way you think about how you live and all the things you have. In my dad’s village, conservation isn’t some trendy buzzword — it’s a necessity of life.  They think in a much simpler way about what they really need to survive and making smart uses of their limited resources.

Have your visits to Nigeria changed your attitude towards clothing? Has it influenced your perspective on fashion and clothes?

In terms of clothing representing who you are, Africans know what they’re doing. Clothing styles have changed over the years — mostly things have gotten a little shorter and more fitted — but the colorful fabrics and patterns they use are still an expression of self that you don’t see that much in America. Clothes tell a story and are very important to them. I love my background and take great pride in it.

Do you think of yourself as a role model for young African American women? Do you have any advice for them?

No matter what I do, I am in some way representing African American women. I know that people are watching, including women younger than me who may still be deciding what to do with their lives.

I’m proud to set an example, to encourage others to be tenacious and ambitious. Most of all, I want young black women to remember to never let themselves be a stereotype. To never let other people — even other black people — dictate for them who they are or what they want out of life.  Our strength comes from each of us taking our own path and finding our own strength.

What does “ethical style” mean to you? Why is it important? Is there a different between “ethical fashion” in the U.S. and “ethical fashion” in Nigeria?

Ethical style is about wearing clothes that represent who you are, about finding your inner-style and staying true to it. I hate when people just wear things because they’re the latest trend but then aren’t really dressing for their outside body or their inner selves. When you can go outside everyday wearing clothes that you feel great in that tell the world something about who you are, that can give you the strength and confidence you need to deal with a lot of the crap life throws at you.

I think Nigerians get this a lot more than Americans do because fashion is a status symbol that represents who you are, but it is not as centered around conformity and trends in the way fashion is in America.

Now for fashion! Do you have any favorite stores and websites that offer “glamorizing” advice or clothing. Tell us your fashion secrets. If we have an event we need to look fabulous for, what’s your advice for making sure we get and stay that way?

Every pageant girl’s best friend is www.pageantresale.com. [Kara Cook gets excited at this point about recycling.] You can buy and sell gowns, shoes, dresses, jewelry… It’s so glorious.

Favorite glamorous shoe brands?

No pageant girl is complete without a pair of Johnathan Kayne shoes. He is this fabulous designer that was on Project Runway and I even got to meet him once! 

Favorite tricks to keep things “up and in”?

If you’re ever going to waltz around in a designer bikini, “butt glue” really is necessary.  A quick spritz of 3M wood glue (yes, that’s right, wood glue) will do the trick as well but whatever product you use, use it sparingly, otherwise you’ll be sticking to things for the next 2 days.

Favorite makeup tips?

Don’t be afraid of fake eyelashes for going out. Just cut them in half, use them only on the outside of your eye, and they will make your eyes pop like never before. Finally, unless you’re going on stage, you makeup must, must, must look natural. Find a light foundation and powder that makes you look flawless. No man should ever be able to tell you’re wearing makeup (unless he’s some kind of expert). Effortless beauty is always the best way.

Any crazy pageant stories? Any dress disasters? We want to know!

My biggest disaster was what led to my earlier advice: When spraying 3M wood glue on yourself in order to hold a bikini in place, apply sparingly. Otherwise you will stick to everything, and every time you go to take off or readjust your clothes it will HURT. The pageant world has its own special set of fabulous fashion rules that are hard pressed to be broken.